1. Jailbait and Diaper Intercourse: Microniche courting websites like Farmers Handiest (indeed, for farmers handiest), Women Behind Bars (yup), and Day-to-day Diapers (yeah no, for adults) can be sold up by Demand Media and extended out to incorporate touchdown pages for tail terms like “How Jailbait Made Me a Higher particular Person”, ”Why Diaper Intercourse Ain’t as Good as It Used to Be” and ”howcome when I holler soooouie my previous girl don’t come?”  (Sorry to my cohorts at Demand – I really like you but – . Additionally, because of Portent’s Content Idea Generator for some of these titles. Try it, it’s enjoyable).
2. Google Eventually Does Go Evil: Google’s Webspam team figures out a solution to make the innards of any screen smolder and burn any time it shows a bad infographic, unveiling the subsequent replace “PyroKitty” to fight infographic hyperlink spam. This seems to be their best and damaging algo replace in history.
3. Singularity Unveiled: We can uncover that Kurzweil’s Singularity is not going to take place in 2045 but has in fact already quietly happened again in 1971 when the primary human/pc cyborg, Elon Musk, was once “conceived”. It additionally turns out that these cyborgs will not, in reality, be extra sensible than humans, just way more unusual.
4. Drone Pranks: Amazon’s delivery drones come out the gate and right away cause huge air traffic and road visitors jams over the New Jersey air area when NJ Mayor Mark Sokolich  orders 10,000 bouncy train balls to drop over Chris Christie’s home in a revengeful prank for his Washington Bridge closure stunt. Because of this, Air Visitors Control bans commercial drones for good, inflicting Amazon to have fill out the rest of it’s orders with delivery pigeons as a substitute. PETA retorts, supply pigeons get shut down, and Amazon realizes the entire thing  was a just a weird concept initially.
5. The Ghost of Steve Jobs returns (again): Gianluca’s innocently lovable “snap your face” SEO jokes go horribly off the rails when the ghost of Steve Jobs (who of course still trolls the internet from Heaven/Hell), discovers it and thinks it’s humorous to pioneer poltergeisting by popping in on his tech large competitors and invisibly snapping their faces all over vital conferences and tech talks. Jobs is discovered when a mysterious patent submitting is found out for afterlife face-snapping that gave exclusive rights to a “Mr. NannyNannyPooPooToYouBill Gates”.
6. The Zombie apocalypse will happen in spite of everything, when Google Glass reaches past the standard techie glasshole and into mainstream The us, inflicting civilians to adopt robotic, zombie-like actions, shedding the flexibility to do pure each day things like stroll without route or have a dialog with a human. Be ready.
7. SEO Jumps Ship: It turns out Rand actually stepped down from CEO of Moz as a result of he and wifey Geraldine have secretly teamed up with Matt Cutts and Danny Sullivan in a covert plan to finally free themselves from the droves of never-ending, nonsensical search engine optimisation trolls and the droney “web optimization is lifeless” speak and jump on the ship to take up a peaceable, quiet residence on Mars. alThough, as a final nod to website positioning, Rand admits Geraldine’s commute weblog will most probably get some good links out of it.
8. Altruism: Mobs of builders will finally start donating some of their time and efforts to open government efforts to make our cities and communities much more uncomplicated and more environment friendly places to reside. That’s not funny. It’s just what I am hoping.

Suppose I acquired it proper?

————————————-

PyroKitty image courtesy of deviantArt artist animedugan

The put up Laura Lippay’s Randomly Weird search engine optimization & Tech Predictions for 2014 appeared first on SEOgadget.